It's been a while by date, but it feels just like yesterday! I've written a thousand things to say since then but nothing seemed quite right. The wait has really been a product of procrastination and perfectionism, the worst combination in the world. So I'll just tell you how I'm feeling, and about this roller coaster ride adventure I've been on for the last four months. If you have clicked on a few different exchange blogs you probably know that not many are updated frequently, and some are never touched for the entirety of the stay. I thought before I came, that I would NEVER be this way. Not me! I'm accountable! I manage my time well! I schedule my life down to planning naps two days in advance! Of course I will post regularly and keep all of you in the loop.
Except, it hasn't gone that way, has it? I can't change the past. And frankly, I wouldn't want to. Over the last few months I've truly learned the most amazing things. These may not be unique to me, and in fact I hope they aren't! I want everyone to know and experience this feeling. So, here are just some of the things I have to share with any future exchange students, and if YOU are on exchange right now let me know if we have anything in common. :)
THING NUMERO UNO
On your exchange, you very well may have some of the best days of your entire life. If you come to France, these might be the times you first enjoy a crepe or learn to travel the metro on your own. Even after standing on top of the Eiffel Tower you will have that dreamy feeling while just ordering a croissant in your village or understand a conversation you overhear from passerby. These moments will inspire and encourage the rest of you life, as you see the fragility and wonder of the world. Appreciate them immensely, life is not always so gentle when imparting wisdom.
DEUX POUR TU
As foreshadowed, keep in mind that the gloomy, lonely, or sad periods will visit you. They may last five minutes while listening to your Physique-Chimie prof drone on while you drool or they can cloud your eyes and keep you from happiness for days at a time. I never found a way to get out of these "funks" other than getting through them. Not giving up will be the hardest and most worthwhile accomplishment of your exchange. I recommend saving a playlist of happy songs and never being too proud to call your mom. (Disclaimer: this probably won't work for everyone) There will come a time when you no longer need her to pick you up while you're down.
Three
(I feel a bit like I'm yelling when I type in capitalized letters. Let's stop that now.)
Between both the incredible and incredibly heavy days, you will have friends. These friends will surprise you. A lovely girl fueled by sharp wit (and at minimum conversational in five languages) is not who I expected to become the closest to while here, yet I don't know how I would have survived so long without her. On top of the people you meet in your school and city, maybe the best resources you will have are other exchangers. These other students have the ability to relate to you. Host family problems? We all go through them. English teacher can't speak English? I feel you. You've gained five kilos? Here have some more of my baguette. We can go for a run when get back to whatever country we came from. You don't know what a kilo even is? Join the America club. I promise you, there will always be another person who is going through the same thing. Be open to these kids, and they will hold you up and make you laugh for your entire stay. Whether it be 3, 4, 6, or 10 months. The length of your trip isn't the binding factor here, lifelong friendships can be forged over a weekend trip or a two week language camp! (Plus!! Bonus tip: The more international friends you make, the more travel opportunities your future holds! Reunion in Berlin? I'm down. Skiing in the Swiss Alps? Why not! Having your friends come visit you? Priceless.)
La quatrième
I can only write this one from the perspective of a girl with English as her first language. This is a warning. You will forget how to spell the word "maintenance." Along with about fifty others, and that is okay! We're the lucky generation that can use spellcheck on our personal statements and our text messages. When you go home, your first language will be there waiting for you! So say goodbye to it for now, and you will feel much less stressed when you can no longer build sentence structures like an architect. Turn your attention instead to the thousands of new words swirling around you in this new land.
The Last Thing
(The Most Important Thing for Now)
I've spent the last few months not entirely focused on France, as I try to plan my life post-exchange. I would be a senior in high school back in the US, so my college applications aren't waiting for me to come home. In fact, life at home has moved on without me. My old friends are getting ready for prom or stressing over their last chance to take the SAT. Our lives are so different right now, I can hardly recognize who I used to be. While studying abroad, your priorities might change. You as a person will most definitely change. This change is called growth, and you achieve it by working to stand on your own two legs in a foreign country where you at first find yourself utterly alone. This gift of a life built from scratch and of memories filled to the bursting with every emotion under the sun you now carry will sometimes be more than you can bear. Others won't always be willing to listen to your stories of self-discovery and adventure upon your return. Your life abroad may have to stay your life abroad, and growing from this is recognizing you can't bring it home with you.
Notes/Thoughts/Feelings/Extras/Etc;
I haven't gone home, yet. In fact I still have two months left, approximately. Already, I've done, seen, and eaten so many amazing things. I've learned independence doesn't need to come in the form of late nights out partying or taking advantage of newfound freedoms. Independence is learning to care for and to put yourself first. Selfishness isn't what I'm encouraging here. Simply knowing what is right for your own person and having the strength to say or do what you feel you should is enough. Recognizing that you are enough, and you don't have to change so the world will like you is the maturity might be the greatest knowledge you will gain on exchange.
I have so many other little silly bits to say, but I'll save them for next time. I'm exhausted! Also fairly pleased my english is working this well. Hopefully I'll see you soon.
To the next,
Savannah Marie
